all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize