I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
