I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
