It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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