So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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