She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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