Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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