yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
