He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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