Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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