god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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