I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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