So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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