My brain says no but my pants say off.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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