is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
