Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So vagazzling was a success
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