let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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