is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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