If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Alive.
So much puke
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
