At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
