I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
