my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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