the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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