Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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