playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
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