he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
