you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
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I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.