I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize