We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
