i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
