There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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