I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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