I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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