I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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