At least make sure they are 18
Why
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
