the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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