I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
