you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
