He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
