I wish I could teleport
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
