Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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