"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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