i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
