YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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