Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
