Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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