That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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