Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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