I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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