Farmville is her only friend.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Dicks are not precious.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
