Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i wish my penis had a tongue
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
