I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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