Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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