Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
