We won't sleep together?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize