therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am spending my child support on dildos
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
