I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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