Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This baby is an asshole
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
