her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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