is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
