Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
