He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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