hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
