you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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