How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She's the barista slut.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
