dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
