She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
