Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
